Monday, November 15, 2004

Monday, November 15

Blue-state liberals hate the family and want to destroy it with equality for women and gay marriage; we red-state conservatives love our families

I Whined at Wedding Thoughts is getting married. Congratulations, I Whined! That's the kind of thing we red-state conservatives love to hear--another marriage! We know what blue-state liberals would think: another divorce in the making! Because they're so negative. But listen to I Whined's simple Christian love for her hubby-to-be:

He was all right yesterday, he was all right today until when we were on our way to dinner with his parent. There is something wrong with his car which something it feels like dying it engine, but this has been occuring quite often.

His car feels like dying it engine again. This time, he bang his hand so hard on the steering wheel that my heart beat stop for a second. Then his face turns black all the way through the dinner. My face was black too. I hate to remind myself that I got to marry this man with sudden mood swing in another 1 months, 2 weeks time.

You just stick to it, I Whined! Don't let Satan or liberals stand in the way of your wedded bliss! You can make it--it's only one months and two weeks! Keep your eye on the prize, and forget about all those little typing booboos! They don't matter one little bit!

Blue-state liberals care about original ideas and critical thinking; red-state conservatives care about getting right with God

Tim at Broadcasting Daily Via the World Wide Web is dedicated to "putting the fun in fundamentalism." And we in the red states agree: fundamentalism can be fun! This is something that blue-state liberals just don't get. Tim is a thinker, but note that he isn't a blue-state liberal original or critical thinker: he devotes his brain cells to the familiar, the conventional, the orthodox. This is good red-state thinking, Tim!

First he takes us through a dictionary definition of "witness"; then he really gets down to brass tacks:

Having examined what a witness is, I realize I have been hypocritical, for, as we just saw, an effective witness must also have a consistent life. If I want to be a good witness I need to avoid not only writing about such things, but also avoid exposing myself to them. Perhaps if I am watching those movies and shows I should just write about them rather than hide them away and pretend I am above them. It is difficult being a good witness and it is easy to become pharisaical about it. Yet God calls us to complete purity – partial purity still involves some level of impurity that discredits our witness.
God make me pure, so I can be the most effective witness for You!

Go Tim!

Blue-state liberals care about spelling and punctuation and grammar; red-state conservatives care about having our hearts in the right place

u-set at Ask Questions Get Answers shows liberals how irrelevant the mechanics of writing are:

A bunch of churches are shutting down due to the scandals of those pedifilers..Well they brought it on themselves..One priest been raping little boys since the 70's...for this kind of behaviour i don't see how people are even Christian...i don't here about buda monks molesting children or a rabbi having little boys in there chambers or muselms suck on little boys penises...i think its sick to use the lords name to manipulate children's minds on having sex with these men...this world is sick and the Christians on top of the food chain...i haven't done a study but i bet you a million or so if i had it that the majority of sex crimes and murders are done by christians...prove me wrong fellow jesus followers...Morals..Remember that word christians..thats what this election was all about..what kind of f#$%ing Moral value do you really have when you have constant priest raping your little boys and girls them sick f%^*ers. I have to stop, this is pissing me off..anyway prove me wrong and go with god.

p.s. if i spelled pedifiler wrong oh well..i tried to look it up on google and they act like the word does not exisit..hhhmm, i wonder if google are christian followers....hahahaha...

A blue-state liberal would probably spell that "pedophile"--they care about things like Greek roots, and whether the word refers to children or feet! And, of course, whether there's an R on the end of that word at all. We here in the red states LOVE words like "pedifiler"--they're closer to the ordinary values of ordinary people than big fancy Greekified words like "pedophile."

We were so impressed by u-set's attitude, in fact, that we contacted him. He replied:

Thanks for the correction but im not concerned with my spelling as long as you get it that's all i need...i failed all my english courses and it shows but you know what else i speak 2 languges so the enlish language can kiss my ass...i also build computers and deal with the nerdiest sh%$ you will ever mess with when it comes to computers...everyone is a critic...i guess you've proven that. Anal is anoying

Yes it is, u-set! I'll bet it's even annoying when building computers! Who cares about all the piddly shit, right? What goes where, whether all the tiny little parts are in their right places. Screw mechanics--that's our motto here in the red states. If you start insisting on putting everything tiny little thing in its right place, then you're talking government regulation--and then, you know, it's no longer possible for ordinary folks to blog or build computers, because you have to have some kinda LICENSE to do anything, and that's tyranny!